Thanks, Hill! You are so sweet. I love you.

I love the title; it absolutely says it all. Thanks for reminding us all that we're not alone on this journey, Naomi!

Dalia--I totally agree with you. Not only is it important to have time together, but time alone is critical too. Mwa--I'm going to take a tip from you and look for a hired babysitter. We have wonderful family around, but it's nice to be able to call someone occasionally without having to infringe on your family member's schedules. Existential Waitress--I know what you mean. Even though we have family around, sometimes we just don't even take advantage. But whenver we do, it feels awesome! And then we always wonder why it took us so long plan something. Sarah--sorry to hear you don't have family nearby to help out. That is tough, but maybe you will find some close friends you trust. Friends can be just like family sometimes. Mom--that is so sweet that you didn't want to leave me. Thanks for your comment! April--I'm so glad to hear that I am not the only one who is totally neurotic about who I leave my kids with. I've definitely loosened up as time has passed, but it is a process. And I love that your date night was staying home and watching movies. Sometimes just chilling is the best. Blueviolet--we are getting better, but I still think 80% of our conversation revolves around them. Poop and puke is riveting, right? Naptimewriting--I will totally babysit for you. Wolves and all. But I do also agree that time alone is also great. I have my boys in a MDO program a couple days a week and it is really rejuvenating for me. I remember the first time I left them both at the same time. I was petrified but at the same time, it really felt great. Now it's a piece of cake. Thankfully they love their program, which helps so much. Have a great night, everyone, and thanks again for all your thoughts!!!

Hi everyone! Thanks so much for all the comments and insights on how you find time for yourselves in your marriage. And it's good to know I'm not the only one who still talks aobut poopy diapers etcetera while on dates. I'm sorry I wasn't able to respond more quickly. A good friend of mine had a baby unexpectedly early today, so it's been a little bit wild over here. In the meantime, I wish you all lived nearby so I could babysit for you and give you a much needed break. You all definitely deserve it!

Before we started making time to get out, it was tough. But, once we started things got much easier. It got even better when we started having our own nights every now and then too (me getting out with the girls and he with the guys). I love being a mom and cherish every moment but I have found that we have to take some time off from that ever so important job every now and then.

We pay a student to babysit. Weekly. We never used to, but we were not doing the right thing by our marriage. We also drop them at the grandparents' sometimes, for a full weekend or even longer. You are so right - it's essential.

I agree that date night is important. We don't do it as often as we should - especially considering that we have two sets of parents that live here in LV to help us out. I feel really rejuvenated when we do get out for an evening though.

So true! God, we haven't been on date night in forever. It's hard, because we don't have family nearby. We definitely need to make an effort to make it happen, though!

I remember when it seemed impossible to even think of leaving you at first. So you attended a wedding and other such outings. Eventually your dad and I had Nana stay with you. It was hard.

Great post. When I was a first time mom I could never imagine leaving my son. I was insane. I don't know what on Earth I thought would happen to him. I don't know why I thought that people (my parents,in laws) who had raised lots of kids could not take care of MY kid. It is not like he was high needs. Actually, he was a very easy baby. I guess in my head my myartarness made me a super mother. I would never leave my kid. (Judgmental ass hole, that use to be my name). I had another kid and I really started losing myself. This happened, that happened. I woke up one day and I did not like myself. I loved my kids, but I hated my life. Divorce happened. I took the stick outta my ass and hung up my super mother cape. I allowed myself to be a mother and a person. I found who I had lost. I am not saying this broke up my marriage (you read my blog so ya know I was married to a DA) but it didn't help matters. It is also imperative that mommies have "girl's night/time". I end up talking about my family, but I am having my time. Time that I don't have to change poop, wipe spit up, or listen to every single detail of what happened on the latest eppy of wwe, like 25 times. With #3 I will more then gladly take an offer for a baby sitter for a date night. Last time LC went to my aunts to spend the night and we just stayed home and watched movies. I missed her, had trouble sleeping, and made Dean go pick her up @ 8 am. Sounds fun, right? I needed that time with Dean. It makes us better parents.

I remember the early days when we couldn't even think of anything to talk about outside of the kids!

Oh, we get around to it twice a year. At best. It's too expensive, too hard to arrange, too riddled with guilt, and too important...ooops, see how we've been screwing up? Nora Ephron once said that a child (or baby, I don't remember) is a hand grenade thrown into a marriage. That feels about right. But we've found that it's even *more* important to schedule a weekly outing by ourselves, each of us alone, so we can recoup some sanity. If we are able to recharge as adults (at least for us), our marriage stands to benefit. If we take those few precious moments and put them toward togetherness...well, we shouldn't have to choose. But such is parenthood. Anyway, I agree. Can you babysit this weekend? What with the wolves sniffing us out and all?

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