love it! great rationale advice. Notes and red shoes from uber-organic-snobsville-enclave, london lol

Awesome post. And yeah, that's a little hurtful. Friendships are definitely more important than whatever food crusade a person happens to be on at the moment. I mean, didn't she get the memo about how good relationships are for your health??

I absolutely agree that it's more important to spare your friend's feelings. So if anyone is dropping off some pork chops with a side of lobster tail and a non-organic spring mix for dinner just because they love me, I'm gonna eat it and like it and say thank you! ;) --and for real..I'll probably like it...mmmm..bacon...

WHAAAT?? So rude. So thankless and rude. I could have kissed every single person that brought us food when Soleil was born. Your friend was doing something SO AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL, really, is there a better gift? And, YES, those brownies have hydrogenated oil in them, that is why they are so DELICIOUS!

Totally rude. I don't care what a friend brings over...if they spent the time making you something, you need to just say "Thank You" and that's that. Anyway, she without Cool Whip (or mechanical hamsters) may cast the first stone.

That's unbelievable to me. Your friend was doing something nice! I think everything in moderation is ok. That's how I live my life, and have for years. And I love my cool whip. Just ate a tub last week.

Wow. Talk about biting that hand that feeds you. Organic or not, that was not very polite. Hopefully, it was just post-baby hormones and she'll come to her senses and apologize.

Yes, yes. Oh, and: YES.

Yes, some things just don't need to be said and that was the perfect example of such a time. It's not like she did it on purpose. She was trying to be kind. And it should have been accepted in that spirit of kindness.

I think your friend should have had more tact it was not like she brought a horse's head to her house. The gesture was thoughtful and meant in a good spirit. I had only one friend who did that for me and I still remember HIM to this day. My reaction was not - did you make these from scratch but how thoughtful of you. Some people can go overboard I agree moderation is the key, if you deny your kids all the time, they will find a way. Wouldn't you prefer then you knew what they were eating?

If i went to the trouble of making food for someone like that and they threw it back in my face because it was't organic enough for them...well, I think there would be a few words said to be honest.

I'm pretty hardcore on the organic, and the no hydrogenated and the no BPA, etc. But if someone made me something to help me I would cry, then eat it. It's like parties. My kid doesn't get sugar or processed food or GMOs or anything, but at parties I don't make him ask for a carrot. He gets whatever the other kids eat, and he gets as much as he wants. Because there's such a thing as being too uptight. And that's worse than eating brownies from a box. (I'm trying to think of what my Cool Whip would be...despite everything I know about nutrition and health I drink Coke. Ten kinds of terrible for my body but I love that crack.)

Not to mention someone just went out of their way to be nice to you and your family, so shut up and swallow!

Our family has many things we would have a reaction to if we ate, like wheat for me, white sugar for my son. It's been so long since we ate beef I don't know if we would get sick...but, if someone who didn't know our preferences made us beef stew and brought it over, I think I'd have to gather the courage to eat it since not eating beef is just a choice and not an allergy or intolerance. If it was wheat, dairy, soy or sugar, I'd have to risk seeming rude by declining. There's this new dance around food we're all trying to learn and the rules are unclear. I agree it would have been best for the new momma to eat the brownies, but I also believe each similar situation needs to be considered individually.

LOL! So true about the whole moderation thing. I Judaism there is a phrase that goes something like" If you embarress one person it is like you have destroyed a whole world" Which is why sarah's friend so should have shut up and just continued on. With that said-I think this new mum in about 10 years time will see her mistakes on this one. Very humorously written post like usual.

Wow, did anyone see last night's episode of The Simpsons (I think it was a rerun, but was new to us)? This is EXACTLY what was happening to Marge. They made it very humorous and tongue-in-cheek, but the whole time I'm thinking YES! I live in San Francisco, and the peer pressure to be vegan, organic, gluten-free, nut-free, sugar-free is insurmountable. We can't all eat/cook perfect all the time, and we also shouldn't have to. We do all have those time savers and those things we just plain like to eat. Imperfections are what make us human.

I love "pull the compost rake out of our rear ends". Brilliant.

You are such a great writer! And I totally would have eaten the brownies.

Wow... Many hugs for your friend. I say this as I munch on Pringles, my "Cool-Whip du jour." I hope that she teaches the babe better manners...

I would totally have eaten the damn brownie b/c while I admittedly have my share of food hang-ups, I hate bad manners and my friend went out of her way to make me a meal and bring it to me! That is soooo nice! And I think those sort of rigid attitudes usually come back to bite you in the ass as a parent. I almost never eat fast food, but when my in-laws want to get my kids McDonald's every now and then, I just roll with it. B/c I think conveying an attitude that fast food is "BAD" is actually harmful in the long run and might ultimately make it MORE desirable. We call fast food and candy "sometimes treats" in our house, meaning in moderation they're fun - just not suitable for everyday consumption. They ARE part of the world that we live in, and that's unavoidable. In fact, just last week my son was rewarded at school for good grades and behavior with a McDoanld's sponsored lunch. He also got a coupon book for deals at other fast food restaurants. Strange. (I'm not even going to get started on what I think of that b/c it contradicts everything I just said....LOL). And BTW, my kids are obsessed with both light sabers and mechanical hamsters. Big time.

I am sad for Sarah and sad for her friend... I am sure that she will change her priorities as she enters the world of Mommyhood -- your supportive friends are alot more important to your success than the ingredients that you feed them. And Thanks Naomi for the uplifting post I am sure it comforted her and others greatly! Anyway, when I was growing up out in the country -- all organic meant was poop... yep, I'd shovel literally s-loads of 'organic' fertilizers on my parents' various gardens. Yep -- poop -- horse, cow, bunny... in fact, in my 4-H days, I was able to break even financially on my rabbits... not from selling bunnies but from selling the high nitrogen organic fertilizer that they produced. Soooo, next time you are walking through whole foods just think every single time I read the word "Organic"... I think of dukey.

wow. Nevermind it was incredibly sweet of Sarah to bring her friend the plate. Sarah can bring me brownies, yep, she needs more friends like me!

Um, yum. Next time, Sarah can bring me the brownies. I would be hurt by the comment, and I hope I would be gracious if given something I wouldn't/couldn't eat... (not that there's much of that). I do remember that stage of new-babyness and hope that nothing I said during that time would be helod against me... Peryl

I totally agree. Poor Sarah. I am all about organic and healthy food but I have an emergency bag od 'organic' candy in my purse and in the pantry. Trust me sometimes one candy can save hours of tantrums and melt downs. ummm, how do they make 'organic' candy :)?????

OMG! My husband and I are BIG on organic and natural foods. And we've never even fed our kids McDonald's food but I wouldn't be so callous as this so called "friend". There are worse things than brownie mix. I just had a baby too and when people bring us food, I am ever, so VERY grateful. And yes, everyone has their Cool Whip. Mine is M&Ms :-)

She shouldn't have gone through all that trouble for this "friend."

This post is making me hungry!

How rude and sad. Regardless of my food preferences, I was so grateful to everyone who helped us out after the twins came home. I'd have even eaten McDOnald's a few times---because not only was I nursing and starving, but we were so overwhelmed with new babies we couldn't even THINK about cooking. Eat the bite, smile & say thank you, and leave it at that. If you don't have anything nice to say---don't say anything at all! It is the thought that counts!!!!

I can so relate to this post. 1st, LOVE is magic and can heal all wounds, including hydrogenated oils in moderation to save a friends feelings!!! 2nd, we all do the best we can. At times, I get washed with guilt, OMG I'm not giving her enough omega 3-6-9's PANIC. then, I calm down. Again, LOVE is what they require mostly. And there's always time to do better, and improve our diets. Food is NOT God, although at times and with some people I wonder if it is theirs?@#$ Anyway, keep up the good work, moms! Even if your child's diet is a notch less than perfect.

And by the way, her friend is a B-I-T-C-H! Let her cook her own damn meal next time and take care of an infant. She'll be wishing she had those poisonous brownies.

This cracked me up! I was laughing out loud! This is so true. My husband and I try to feed our son organic foods, but I won't lie. Last week I took him to Sonic and gave him a grilled cheese sandwich and tater tots. Not everything is or can be organic. We have some friends who are the organic judgement types. When we gave our son regular formula instead of organic formula (which by the way, was nowhere to be found in our town), we got a lecture. When she found out I fed my son chicken nuggets with corn breading, I got a lecture about the dangers of too much corn. When I told her which laundry detergent we used, she said, "Oh. Well, we use Seventh Generation. It's better for our children." When I told her that our son drinks organic cow's milk, she said we should switch to goat's milk. And while her points may be valid, I would really rather her keep them to herself! We do it in moderation. We do organic when we can, and when we can't, we don't worry about it.

April, if you lived near me, we would hang out all the time. i love you.

Some people let the organic lifestyle consume them. To the point that it really turns people off. Hence, why a lot of people think that organic people are wacko. To each his own. Next time I would bring some greasy Kentucky fried chicken. If she is gonna bitch, I would give her something to bitch aboutbut thats melol Some people just have an air of superiority when it comes to certain things. It seems like the organic lifestyle is one. Bottom line, your friend did good. To me it is better to be a great friend then a good organic.

Jennifer, I did think about that with mommy brain and sleep deprivation and stuff. Defnitely new moms need to get cut a little slack. Maybe she was just overwhelmed and not thinking straight.

People can be real control freaks sometimes. Might want to cut the new mom a bit of slack on account of pregnancy brain, if you know what I mean:) Kinda of rude yes it was. A couple of additives here, No good deed goes unpunished, Don't look a gift horse in the mouth... But to your friend I say chin up! Maybe she will get a nice thank you note in the mail in a couple of days with a nice,humble apology, or maybe not, but don't let it stop you from giving from your heart.

Thanks everyone for your comments. I love hearing from all of you and knowing what you think. Shelley--Amen! Sarah--I am so with you on the tofu thing. Your story was hilarious. I grew up in a house of tofu mania. There was tofu spaghetti. Tofu burgers. Tofu ice cream. Tofu cake. Tofu and rice. Tofu and beans. It was neverending. I cannot even look tofu in the eye to this day. Stefanie--I agree! I think there is plenty to be said for saving people's feelings esp when they have gone to the trouble of trying to help you. Kristen--Thanks for coming by to visit!! I enjoyed checking out your blog last night very much. I really agree with you about sticking to your own beliefs. It's very important. I was a vegetarian for many years and am so with you on the side dish meals. There are plenty of ways to blend in without having to outright offend the people who are generously hosting you or trying to be kind and help out. Thanks everyone for your thoughtful comments!! I heart you all.

I think it's important to stay true to your own beliefs, but not to the point where you hurt someone else's feelings unnecessarily. I am a vegetarian and I've gotten a lot of practice at making meals out of side dishes when invited to someone's home for dinner. I think we all have a responsibility to be gentle with other people, especially when they are extending themselves to us. As you said, she didn't have to eat the whole batch of brownies, but she could have found a way to handle the situation with much more grace than she did.

Agreed - very rude and totally unnecessary. She could just have easily said "wow, these are delicious...I better hide these or I'll eat the whole batch" :) It amazes me when people can't acknowledge a simple kindness without judging. Anyway, 3 cheers for cool-whip

If the mummy/home educator Olympics weren't enough, you get the organic Olympics chucked at you too ? All this competitive lifestyle "I'm so much better an X than you" stuff, isn't really peace and love is it ? I sort of have a "if it won't make me puke, cease breathing or come out in a rash...I'll take some polite bites and make impressed/grateful noises" rule. It's now a well honed party trick after two bouts of immigration and a sister who is an organic vegan, oft given to feeding me faux things of deeply suspect origin. But I love her, so I munch as enthusiastically as humanly possible, praying that some kind of massacred lentil is the chief ingredient. You know where you are with a lentil. Unlike that evil tofu stuff. I spent five years in Bangkok poking at my food, muttering to myself darkly, in the never ending hunt for evil lurking tofu for the purposes of immediate extraction with umbrage. I blame a previous "polite bite" session which ended up with me gagging abundantly the first time I dinner with MIL 1.0 and the entire extended family of about 2 million who had come round to gap in horror at this "poor excuse for a wife" their adored son/brother/nephew/cousin fifty zillion times removed had lugged back from the UK instead of a degree. I didn't think their opinion of me could have possibly sunk any lower. I was wrong. As I discovered once I reappeared from under the table, purple in the face and a bit dribbly.

I definitely think that was a little rude :( I wouldn't have said anything to the friend. All I really have to say is....EVERYTHING tastes better with a little Cool Whip on top :)

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