Brilliant and so true. I HATED pumping and only did one bottle a day so that my other half could do one of the many night feeds. Thought it would only be for about 3 months then I could stock up the freezer for days out etc. We finally got down to only one feed at night a month ago - he is a year! By which time I was so sick of pumping the freezer is still milkless.

LOL-like always very funnily written

This is hilarious! You make the whole pumping thing sound ludicrously funny - and it's a while since I've used of these, but I remember quite well that a laugh at its expense was always welcome.

I can't stop laughing when you said it might be weird to celebrate the empty breast... I didn't know that breast pump can be such a pain in the b***. Your story is a bit angry and a bit funny. What an irony. Found your blog from mom blogger. This is sherry love. See you there sometimes.

I can't stop laughing when you said it might be weird to celebrate the empty breast... I didn't know that breast pump can be such a pain in the b***. Your story is a bit angry and a bit funny. What a irony. PS: found your blog from mom blogger club. Here's my profile http://www.mombloggersclub.com/profile/SherryLove see you there sometimes.

I can't stop laughing when you said it might be weird to celebrate the empty breast... I didn't know that breast pump can be such a pain in the b***. Your story is a bit angry and a bit funny. What a irony. PS: found your blog from mom blogger club. Here's my profile http://www.mombloggersclub.com/profile/SherryLove see you there sometimes.

I can't stop laughing when you said it might be weird to celebrate the empty breast... I didn't know that breast pump can be such a pain in the b***. Your story is a bit angry and a bit funny. What a irony. PS: found your blog from mom blogger club. Here's my profile http://www.mombloggersclub.com/profile/SherryLove see you there sometimes.

Thanks, everyone, for your supportive comments about my murderous tendencies toward certain electronic equipment that we won't name. In case you are interested, I have started a breast pump assasinn service and will happily oblige if needed, free of charge. Just let me know! Hee hee.

LOL!!! I remember going shopping for a pump; my older brother was with me and he had no idea which end was up on a baby. He asked me what a pump was for and so I explained; he said,"What??!!" and then he was so shocked, he just stood there in silence for a full 5 minutes! It was hilarious!

My try at the pump was short lived. I didn't spend half as much as you and that's probably why I had problems, so I had to suplement when I had my first. (I had no nursing issues the second time around thank goodness!)

I love that scene from Office Space. I hope you got lasting closure from your backyard party. I've never known how to adequately express my frustrations toward the inanimate objects in my life - sounds like you've got that all figured out!

I almost died laughing when I read this as this was definitely expressed my own feelings towards my pump. I was so glad when I finally got rid of the darn thing. Thank you for sharing. You always have such humor and expression to your writing. I love it!

Ah yes, I remember the breast pump well. I'll bet you felt MUCH better after your, er...release of pent-up frustration towards it! Ha, ha, ha!

haha! Love this post. I read your other tongue tied post, and can understand the confusion and frustrations that come with breastfeeding. For the first month, I wasn't sure if my daughter was getting enough to eat because she ALWAYS wanted to eat, it was actually a let down issue, where she was getting too much milk at one time. Then after we got over that, she started to over eat. It got to the point where she would eat too much and then puke it up, and then after she did that, she wanted to eat again. SO FRUSTRATING. I tried pumping, but couldn't get anything out, it felt like huge waste of money. Believe me, I feel your disdain for those things. I also always told myself I would never give my daughter a pacifier, but I found myself giving her one when she did the eat, puke, eat thing like three times in one day. LOL. She never did it again, and I'll never look back, but at least she doesn't rely on it. Thanks for sharing! http://www.halemom.com

It does sorta make you feel like a milk cow doesn't it?

I laughed so hard I cried when I read you post!! I have my pump stored away for now thank goodness...something else needs to be invented. Keep writing:) www.momsbestbets.blogspot.com

That was one of the funniest things I ever read! You are very talented at expressing with humor how we have all felt toward breast pumps. I didn't even need one much but I hated mine. lol. I do agree though, $320 is far too much to spend to beat the breast pump to death. Too bad, huh? It would be so cool. I mean those heavy metal guys wasted more money than that smashing guitars, right? But...you aren't some druggy peforming in front of sweaty fans.

Yep. I can relate. Bree would not nurse, and oh the hours alone in the bedroom with that horrible pump! I pray my next baby nurses like a champ and I only have to pump on occasion! Isn't amazing that we will do ANYTHING for our children? It's the most incredible form of love I've ever experienced! Thanks for making me feel I'm not alone in my experience with that horrible pump:)

I'd say you deserve to take your aggression out on the pump finally! I do understand how it feels to be tied to the pump - I had lots of breastfeeding difficulties when my son was born and had to pump, pump, pump to encourage my milk supply to no avail. And I completely relate to having to expose friends and family to my gelatinous stomach and gi-normous hooters while I sat pumping. Oh what we mothers go through! LOL!

Oh, Naomi. You have no idea how much this post speaks to me. BOTH of my daughters wouldn't nurse and I spent countless hours and hours hooked up to my freaking pump so that they could still get the benefits of the milk. But BOY OH BOY did I talk about the day that I was going to smash the crap out of that pump... In the end, the cost of it is what deterred me and now it just sits abandoned in a closet somewhere. The day I see that thing again though, it'll be TOO SOON. And just reading about your fiesta makes my heart soar a little bit to think of the release! I'm subscribed to get your emails now, I can't wait to see what you write next!

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